路过的人，我早已忘记。经过的事已随风而去. These are the carefree words of yesterday’s solo traveller – who had no social media, no Google, no email, no translating apps. People meet and people go on separate ways. That’s the romance of following your heart – no plans, no advance bookings, just keep searching, asking and leave it all to chance and fate – this thing called 缘分. Surprisingly, things always worked out in the end. We accepted spartan accommodations and unpredictable transport, often saved by local hospitality. We made friends, we fell in love, we broke hearts. We cherished the magical moments and moved on when we had to, accepting the impermanence of every encounter, crossing borders to meet another unknown, another stranger. That’s our secret to happiness in this crazy, everchanging world.

But in the world of fixed assets, there is no room for poetry and romance; only rules and plans. Yesterday’s suave and easygoing traveller is today’s lonely uncle, desperately trying not to be ignored. Because people tend to be deprived of attention in a land of plenty. For many of these uncles, the only person they can have meaningful conversation with is their massage lady or the beer promoter at the coffee shop, the only meaningful interaction they have in this tragic age. They open up and share a surprising amount of information with these strangers. For the first time in a long time, they feel loved and understood.

Deprivation leads to desperation and desperation leads to disappointment. Their world has become too small and there is no escape even when they travel. The world has changed. They have changed. The exotic maidens no longer give them a second look.

The late Chua Lam once gave very good advice on how to avoid desperation and disappointment. Hit on as many targets as you can find. Without being focussed on one individual, the pain of loss and rejection is very much reduced. But that may not be a good strategy for everyone. The older and poorer one gets, it also becomes more and more difficult to cast one’s net wide. Even the hottest guy will fall out of favour with the ladies and become a lonely and pathetic uncle eventually.